Every time I searched for self-care, I was always met with the same ideas, all tied up in aesthetics. We never truly feel taken care of or like we’re doing self-care right because we’re not fulfilled or at our optimal levels.
We’re too busy with green juicers, bubble baths, and face masks. But that’s not the answer.
Our self-care routine should never look like anybody else’s because the only right and efficient way to do it is by first paying attention to our unique needs and then crafting a routine from there.
That is precisely what I’m going to talk about in this post.
In this blog post, I’m going to break down 15 facts that will teach you how to master your self-care routine so that you can build the most effective routine that will make you feel better and closer to your ideal self, as opposed to just creating a cute routine that looks good for everybody else on social media.
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Step number 1 : Classic Journaling.
Now, I’m a fan of the more commercialized aspects of self-care, like massages and face masks. But these alone won’t work unless they’re combined with real introspection. Journaling is the tool that can help with this.
Before adding extra steps to your routine, take a moment to identify where you’re struggling, your weaknesses, and how you think your happiness could be improved.
This self-awareness is the key to crafting a self-care routine that truly works for you.
We aren’t conscious of this because we’re so consumed by the daily rush and responsibility of life that we think that going on a quick walk or lighting a candle is supposed to make us relax when we’re never dealing with the problem at hand.
We all struggle with something completely different, and journaling can help you get to the root of what you’re struggling with so that you can then identify the steps to create from there.
Step number 2: Doing favors for your future self.
I have read a list in my diary called “Things that make me feel good versus things that make me feel bad” for so long. This shows things that will raise your happiness levels and your dopamine versus things that will take away from it that don’t benefit your self-care at all. I just became conscious of how I felt and how I was moving through each phase of my life.
It’s essential to write these things down, along with certain things that you know light you up—putting on a good outfit, drinking a cup of tea in the morning, having a slow morning routine—because on those days when you feel sad and helpless, you are finally going to take accountability to pull yourself out of it.
For instance, planning your breakfast the night before, laying out your clothes for the next day, or scheduling a relaxing activity for the weekend can all be considered as doing favors for your future self.
Step number 3 : Organize and plan ahead.
I really like to link this to the love language of acts of service, which I think is so important to give to yourself.
I do an entire deep clean of my apartment, do my food shop, go for a walk, work out, buy fresh flowers, and wrap up any loose ends. This gives me a fresh start for the week ahead.
Step 4: You’re Important
We know that self-care tends to take a backseat when we get super busy. So, we need to find a way to incorporate self-care quickly. One way is to take deep breaths first thing in the morning.
Two is to listen to a podcast that comforts or educates you.
Three is to write down three things you’re grateful for.
Four is to indulge in regular mundane moments like enjoying your morning tea or coffee.
Another quick self-care practice is changing your perspective and narrative of every moment. For example, if you are stuck in traffic, instead of engaging in road rage, consider using the extra time to do something like listening to a podcast.
Step 5: Do the internal work.
Self-care should not have to cost you anything, not a singular dime.
Self-care is a way of being, not buying. Doing the internal work means taking the time to understand and work on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
It’s about developing a healthy relationship with yourself and learning to manage your emotions in a positive way.
Some ways to do the inner work include therapy, shadow work journal prompts, practicing emotional regulation, building an abundance mindset, manifesting your dreams, setting boundaries, and reprogramming your subconscious.
Quick reads
7 Days of Self-Care: Through Gratitude Journaling
Setting Boundaries 101: Essential Steps to Guard Your Well-being
Step 6: Analyze your activity and time spent on it.
Identify how you are spending your time and how your daily choices align with where you want to be in life.
Hold yourself accountable. What habits are serving you, and what thoughts are limiting you from achieving the goals you set for this year?
This self-awareness is crucial in identifying the habits and thoughts that are either propelling you forward or holding you back.
Step 7: The 80/20 nourishment rule.
This basically means that 80% of the time, you’re going to eat whole, healthy foods, and 20% of the time, you get to indulge in your joy foods. Food has such a huge impact on how we feel and our overall wellness.
Studies have shown that additives in ultra-processed foods can interfere with brain chemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which affect our mood and happiness.
Whole foods, on the other hand, help us feel more energized and in control.
It’s about finding that balance.
Yes, the boring salad might not be as fun as cake, but it’s fueling you to feel your best.
Here are some cookbooks to plan your healthy meal for yourself.
Step 8: Your needs constantly change throughout your life.
This is why the whole bubble bath and face mask thing doesn’t make sense because we all need different things at different times.
Regular check-ins with yourself are crucial.
For example, I keep a diary where I’d record my day writing about what went well, what didn’t, what am i expected to do on priority this week and what is holding me back.
Looking at it has given me so much insight into what truly makes me happy. It’s all about staying in tune with yourself as you grow.
Step 9: Regulate your emotions and take action to control them.
One of my favorite emotional regulation techniques is to literally choose how you want to feel.
You don’t have to respond with anger or hurt if someone’s being rude or disrespectful. That’s a choice.
When I started to detach from other people’s opinions of me, my life became so much more peaceful.
Stop letting people live inside your head that to rent free.
You get to decide how you feel about situations. And if you’re feeling down, there are simple things like taking a walk or listening to music that can instantly boost your mood and calm your nervous system.
It’s about taking control instead of letting your emotions run the show.
Step 10: Reading.
Yes Reading! And guess what? It’s effectively free!
Reading is one of the best forms of self-care because it educates and expands your mind.
If you’re stressed about something, like money or how to start a business, pick up a book or read an article on the topic. Educating yourself will give you clarity and confidence, reducing stress.
Plus, it’s way better than doom-scrolling through social media, making us compare ourselves to others and feel worse.
Plus if you want something premium you can subscribe Amazon Prime where you get lots of benefit with unlimited reading being one of them. Also, if you are an between 18-24 years old or, an student its 6 months free. Check it out now.
PS Quick Reads: 20 Famous Self Love Poems For Self-Worth and Self-Esteem
Step 11: Burn the letter.
This is one of my favorite practices. If someone has hurt you or you’re holding onto something, write it all down in a letter addressed to them.
Say everything you need to say—swear, rant, get it all out—then crumple it up and burn it. Watching that paper burn is so healing. It’s like you’re literally releasing all those negative emotions.
It doesn’t magically fix everything, but believe me it helps you start to let go.
Step 12: Movement for mental health, not appearance.
I’m not a gym expert by any means, but I go to the gym for overall fitness, not to get a smaller waist or a bigger butt. Whether I spend 20 minutes or an hours there, I feel much better afterward.
It’s not about how you look but how you feel. Movement, whether it’s walking, dancing, or lifting weights, releases those happy hormones and helps regulate your mood. It’s such an underrated form of self-care.
Step 13: Move slower.
Incorporating slow routines into your day can make such a difference. For example, having a slow morning routine changed my life.
Instead of waking up and rushing into my day, I take time to enjoy my morning with a cup of tea, some gratitude journaling, or even just watching my favorite show.
How you start your day sets the tone for everything, so take that time to nurture yourself before the chaos begins.
Step 14: Romanticize your life.
This doesn’t have to be a big, extravagant thing. It’s all about how you choose to see the ordinary moments. These little things add up, whether it’s enjoying your coffee in the morning or appreciating a peaceful walk.
Instead of thinking, “Ugh, I have to go to work,” switch it to, “I get to dress up and go to work.”
It’s all about changing your perspective and finding joy in the simple moments.
Step 15: Make yourself a commitment.
You always show up for other people—so why not show up for yourself? If you’ve promised to wake up early and hit the gym, stop snoozing your alarm!
By following through on your own commitments, you build trust with yourself and boost your confidence. The more you show up for yourself, the more you’ll see your self-esteem and discipline grow.
Remember, you deserve the same loyalty you give to others.
And there you have it—15 steps to real self-care that actually matter and make a difference in your life. It’s not about creating an aesthetic routine for social media or doing what everyone else is doing. It’s about tuning into your own unique needs, making a commitment to yourself, and building a routine that works for you. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and remember that you deserve to take care of yourself, in whatever way that looks like for you.
Let me know which self-care step resonated with you the most, and I hope you’re inspired to start showing up for yourself in bigger and better ways.
You deserve it, bestie!
Quick reads
7 Days of Self-Care: Through Gratitude Journaling
Setting Boundaries 101: Essential Steps to Guard Your Well-being
20 Famous Self Love Poems For Self-Worth and Self-Esteem
